Archive for June, 2010

The Physical and Spiritual

I’m going to start exercising.  I just ran an unknown distance at a moderate pace utilizing the toe-strike gait until my calves gave out.  There are lots of good reasons to exercise, from the obvious physical benefits to the psychological ones, but one reason that intrigues me is the impact it could have on my spiritual well-being.

I’ve known people who’ve toyed with this idea before; this guy named Mike at my old church in Davis had a group called “C.O.R.E.” (I don’t remember what it stood for) that would meet up a few times a week to exercise, and then spend time in the Word.  The idea behind this group was that physical transformation should accompany / mirror / supplement / reinforce spiritual transformation.  As they grew and matured spiritually, exercising their heart and mind through scriptural reading and meditation, they would grow and mature physically by way of physical exercise.  It’s an interesting idea.

I’ve been learning at Ekko that the Jews would reinforce their scriptural readings with tangible exercises.  For example, when Jewish children were learning Torah, they would recite a memorized passage, dip a finger in honey and eat it.  The idea was that the physical sweetness of the honey would reinforce the notion that the Word of God was likewise sweet for our souls.  With this in mind, I run and lift weights.  The point is to discipline and strengthen myself physically as I discipline and strengthen myself spiritually.  It just makes sense.

Anyway, I’m going to stop here now.  Gonna go spend some time with God now.

Breathe.

I’m so stressed right now.  I’ve been stressed all week.

I feel stupid for being so stressed and anxious.  I’m supposed to be older and more mature, but here I am, dreading a meeting with my ex.  I feel immature and childish, as if I shouldn’t feel like this.  I don’t know…  It’s stupid.  I don’t know why she told me a week in advance.  I’ve been dreading it all week.  What are we going to talk about?  Why now?  I was doing okay.  I was moving on.  Now she’s got me beating myself up – hopes up one moment, telling myself to be realistic another.  It feels like someone took a hole saw to my chest and made a huge divot.  I hate feeling like this.

God help me.  God, please help me get my emotions under control.  God, please help me be calm and trust in You.  God, please help me remember how You’ve never failed me before, and how You promise me that You will never fail me.  I hate this, but I have this nagging in the back of my mind that whatever’s to come will be for the better.  Help me to trust in that nagging.  Help me to embrace whatever comes, Lord.  Help me to relax, and make use of this time before my meeting to just relax with You – to dwell with You in Your presence.  Help me to think upon good things – positive things.  Help me to direct my energies and focus them into positive activities.  When it comes down to it, I trust in You.  Please be with me today.

I should get going.


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